What's Your Story, Julie Wright Halbert? Rising from loss with purpose, presence, and power

1. Host

   0:00Welcome to what's your story, where we, Jaime Marco
2. 0:05And Stan Brown. Delve into the extraordinary lives of everyday people.
3. 0:11Listen in as we uncover the unique tales that shape who we are
4. 0:16One story at a time. Hey. Let's get ready to explore today's story.
5. 0:21Let's do it. Hi, Chad. Good morning. It's...
6. 0:25We're back. We are. So are you Monet? No.
7. 0:33This is actually Van Van Gogh. I mean, Gogh.
8. 0:35Van Gogh. Starry Night. You know what? Yeah.
9. 0:37Based upon the comments we had in the last the last podcast about the primal scream you would introduce in your TEDx talk.
10. 0:44Yeah. This is actually Starry Nights, but remember his his painting called the scream?
11. 0:51Oh, yeah. I do. I wonder... Should we start one of our podcasts?
12. 0:54Should we try the primal scream for the podcast?
13. 0:56It would be too disruptive. I would hate to frighten anybody that would be, like, driving in their car and for us to scream that loud.
14. 1:02I think it could be... And, actually, when I did it in my TEDx talk, they had to turn my microphone off because it...
15. 1:08They didn't want it to be too loud. So I...
16. 1:10Why... I like where your head is going. I'm not sure we'd wanna do that to our listeners.
17. 1:14But the people in the stadium for your talk didn't object.
18. 1:17No. But they, like, it wasn't as loud. Stating.
19. 1:21Forget about over. Oh, yeah. Well, it's good to see you.
20. 1:26As you know, I am just back and refreshed.
21. 1:29I was away for about five days at my happy place called Savanna.
22. 1:35Well, I'm glad one of us is refreshed. Oh, dad, you're retired.
23. 1:38I mean, is it really that difficult? There are certain challenges.
24. 1:43Okay. Alright. Well, like what? Let me...
25. 1:46I'm still sweating for my bike ride this morning.
26. 1:48Gonna grab a fast towel. I'll be right back.
27. 1:49Oh, okay. So I'm just gonna entertain my listeners.
28. 1:51So listeners, while my dad goes off, I went this past couple days, my second time going to the most incredible resort.
29. 1:59I call it like heaven on earth. It's called Savannah.
30. 2:02It's in Arizona in Carefree Arizona. So, I mean, could you go anywhere better to actually become carefree and disconnect?
31. 2:10This is my second year going there and I absolutely love it.
32. 2:13So this is not a sabbatical commercial, but maybe it is.
33. 2:15I get no credit for talking about them. But what I loved about it is that I went and, you know, we...
34. 2:23You go there and there's a lot of solo travelers.
35. 2:25You don't realize there's a lot of people that are there that are going by themselves.
36. 2:29And when you start having conversations, people are going for all different types of reasons, whether it was for healing, for stress relief, just for clarity, or just for well-being.
37. 2:39And it was really fascinating as having all these different conversations with different women, mostly women, who were traveling by themselves and had been there for the first time.
38. 2:48It was really just so cool and such a really great collective energy.
39. 2:52Last time I went, I didn't see as much of that.
40. 2:54This time I saw more. And it was just...
41. 2:57I just feel like a completely different person every time I come back and it gives me new ideas of things I wanna do.
42. 3:03And if you can afford to take the time off or to go to a resort like that, which is very affordable compared to everything else, I highly recommend it.
43. 3:13I waited forty six years before I took my first trip like that.
44. 3:16Long waiting periods. Whoosh. Yeah. Have you ever done...
45. 3:19Oh, well, you've traveled by yourself before that.
46. 3:22I've been married for so long. I really can't recall.
47. 3:27I do. I often... I go to the renter by myself in a restaurant for sure.
48. 3:30Oh, there we go. But I'm excited because I think that, like, as we start to, like, navigate, you know, this new world and having some fresh new perspectives, I'm excited for our guests today.
49. 3:42And I'm excited for our guests every single day, actually.
50. 3:44Like, I really do like our guests every single day, every time that we have them.
51. 3:47But our guest today has a book, and I believe...
52. 3:50Or actually, her company is called Rising Phoenix Coaching.
53. 3:54Now, as you know, we really try to lean away from what people do and more into their stories, but I know we've had some guests who they identify more about with what they do, and so that's where they lean into, and we let them go where they wanna go.
54. 4:08Today, however, I'm really... You know, I know this person.
55. 4:11I know a little bit about her story, but I think, Doug, you're gonna find her really fascinating to really hear about what got her to where she is today.
56. 4:18Let's raise that phoenix today. All right, let's do it.
57. 4:22Here we go, we're gonna admit her into the room.
58. 4:25Her name is Julie Dad, so Hello, Julie Dad.
59. 4:28I mean, you're Julie. Julie, let's see. There she is.
60. 4:32Hi, Julie. Good to see you. Hi. Great to see both of you.
61. 4:36How are you all? Hello. Good morning, Julie.
62. 4:37Have you met Mike Dahl before?

63. Julie

    4:39Don't... I think I've seen him,

64. Host

    4:41but I

65. Julie

    4:41don't think I've met him. Pleasure to meet you.

66. Host

    4:43My pleasure. Thank you. Well, we're so pumped to have you on.
67. 4:46Now are you traveling? Are you on like, are you, where are you?

68. Julie

    4:49Oh, I'm home in Sarasota.

69. Host

    4:52All right. Know you're You look so relaxed.
70. 4:54He does, doesn't she?

71. Julie

    4:55I am. This is a bit of my sanctuary, you know, It's my healing space.

72. Host

    5:00I love it. Well, first of all, thank you for saying yes.
73. 5:03We're so grateful to have you on the podcast.
74. 5:05And I was just telling my dad, I actually just got back from Arizona, like, a couple days ago.
75. 5:10Yes. So I know that you'll kinda talk a little bit about where your name comes from, but I...
76. 5:14Obviously, I recognize the rising phoenix is a different reason.
77. 5:18But I see some of your pictures, it looks like on your website, you might have been in the mountainous regions of somewhere before.
78. 5:23But we'll get to that later on. Before we get started though, I have a question for you.
79. 5:30Today, what is your number on a scale of one to 10?
80. 5:3410 being it's the best day you've ever had, not a worry in the world, and now I know you're a mom, so that's probably nearly impossible to ever be a 10.
81. 5:41Two zero one being that you don't feel like peopleing today, and we probably should have rescheduled this podcast.
82. 5:48Remember, you're in your healing space.

83. Julie

    5:50Yeah, am. I actually feel great. I would say to you, I'm a solid eight or nine.
84. 5:54I feel really good.

85. Host

    5:56That's a big jump eight or nine. So that's, I mean,

86. Julie

    5:59like between the two of them, what would it take whether you're at the eight or the nine to go 0.25 higher today?
87. 6:08So I really was sitting meditation before joining you and really I come into every day with intention and being in that space opens my heart and that allows me to be that higher space.
88. 6:20And so, you know, it's it's just being in connection with the two of you and being present for your audience and just being mindfully in that space and that that that opens my heart to just joy and gratitude for the time together.

89. Host

    6:36Love So we're here to pump you up. Like Arnold and whatever, pump you up.
90. 6:43No, I'm just kidding. Know, it's funny that you talk about intentions.
91. 6:47When I was just away, I was at this resort called Savannah.
92. 6:50Have you ever heard of it before?

93. Julie

    6:51So were you in Scottsdale or

94. Host

    6:53is that I was in Carefree, Arizona. So a little bit north of Scottsdale, I think.
95. 6:58Okay. So what they do there is that it's really great.
96. 7:02I went last year, it's my second year going, But they start every morning off with a fifteen minute intention circle, and you go and you sit outside on the lawn, and you set your intention, you close your eyes, you think about what is your intention for today.
97. 7:14Right? And that's the thing. Like, I love how you just said that because I think people get caught up in that meditation has to be this big thing, but it can just be five minutes, fifteen minutes max.
98. 7:24But then what they do is that they bookend it at the end of the day for sunset or what is your gratitude reflection.
99. 7:31That's beautiful. Where does your practice come from?
100. 7:34Because that's not something that, you know, I'm just going to go on a limb here that I doubt you've doing that since childhood.
101. 7:40That's something that's probably kind of a bit later in life.
102. 7:41So where did you get that practice of intention and meditation from?

103. Julie

     7:45Well, we should just jump right into my story, right?
104. 7:48Here we go. So truly, you know, I don't know if you're Stan, know, but my dad's name is Stan, also Stan Lee.
105. 7:59So blessing of a name. But so honestly, Jaime, the answer is really through my suffering and pain to coming out to a place of healing.
106. 8:10And so it's the healing work that I've done that has brought me to a space of waking up every day with meaningful intention.
107. 8:19So it's very, it's become a practice daily and really as we talk about my story and like I'm writing a book, everything is aligned to that exact space.

108. Host

     8:29Got it. Did that trauma start at a young age or is that something that happened later in life?
109. 8:36Like tell us.

110. Julie

     8:38Sure. No, my husband, who I'd been together with for twenty five years and married to for Jacob always says my oldest son is like plus three.
111. 8:48So we were together twenty five years and we were married for twenty two of those years And, he died suddenly of cholangiocarcinoma in 2018.
112. 9:00He passed really without, only diagnosis within a week of he actually dying, knowing it was cancer three weeks before he died.
113. 9:09And so dying at home with hospice and no treatment very quickly.

114. Host

     9:16What kind of cancer is it?

115. Julie

     9:18It's bile duct cancer. So it's very rare aggressive cancer often seen in younger people.
116. 9:24Definitely a lot of men, women as well, a lot of men and it's very hard to diagnose.
117. 9:32So he just had a period of sweating, loss of appetite, and weight loss, but his white blood cells were elevated and they thought because of travel that it was an infection.

118. Host

     9:44That's stomach, it moves very quickly.

119. Julie

     9:46Yeah, and they couldn't, it was very hard to diagnose.
120. 9:49So that was a large part of the process.
121. 9:50But coming out of that, Jaime, to answer your question, he was 51, I was 50 and that really began my elevation.
122. 9:59I spent a career, I'm not sure if you know this, it's almost thirty years as a lawyer, as education attorney representing urban school districts across the country.
123. 10:09So I had this very left brain, you know, critical analytical thinking daily, working with federal courts, U.
124. 10:17S. Supreme Courts, writing of laws, protecting the rights of urban students throughout our nation.
125. 10:23We represent 78 school districts throughout the nation, millions of children.
126. 10:29To going into a space where I've been transitioning to becoming a coach and really living in a spiritual alignment and that coaching is really working with people to come into this space of living an intention, exactly what you were doing, right?
127. 10:45Working on that intent, setting those intentions, having a gratitude journal, you know, looking at your life every single day with meaning and and being...
128. 10:56Having a space of gratitude, but also making choices from that space.

129. Host

     11:01Well, knew that your husband passed. I didn't know how and how quickly that was.
130. 11:05And I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what that might have been like.
131. 11:10I'd like to travel back a little bit before that happened.
132. 11:14Talk a little bit about where did you grow up by the way?
133. 11:16Where did you

134. Julie

     11:16grow So I was, it's really, it's actually, it's a great question.
135. 11:19So five generations from Charleston, South Carolina.

136. Host

     11:23Oh boy. Lot of history.

137. Julie

     11:25Yeah, a lot of history. Stan, my great grandfather walked across Russia during the pogroms and he was a young boy and he was going to be taken.
138. 11:34So he walked across, made his way towards The Netherlands, raised money painting and eventually crossed to The United States to of course to

139. Host

     11:42New York

140. Julie

     11:43where he met my great grandmother, my mama Gussy, and they made their way to Charleston, South Carolina and my sister is still there now with her husband and some family and I just came back from there yesterday, so to be here this for you And it's a huge part of our family history.

141. Host

     12:01How did you pinpoint Charleston out of curiosity?
142. 12:03Why Charleston?

143. Julie

     12:04You know, it's a great question. I think that there was a connection to open a grocery store.
144. 12:12So it was a produce and grocery store and they actually lived above the grocery store.
145. 12:17And there's a lot of stories back in that time as far as how they lived in community.

146. Host

     12:23Is that store still open? No. Did you grow up, like, going to that store?
147. 12:29Was your

148. Julie

     12:29No, my dad's lifetime. It wasn't mine. But so then I was born there in Charleston with my, I have an older brother and a younger sister.
149. 12:37And so I went to high school there and, just really, it's, there's a lot of history in Charleston.

150. Host

     12:44What made you, so you graduated high school and where did you go to undergrad?

151. Julie

     12:48I went to University of Maryland.

152. Host

     12:50Okay. Is that the Wolverine? No, no, that's not

153. Julie

     12:53what that's Terrapins. Turtles. Yeah. So

154. Host

     12:58what made what did you study in undergrad?

155. Julie

     13:00So in undergrad, you know, I've kind of been it's interesting that you asked I applied to one college into one law school.
156. 13:08I've always, yeah, I've always like had like intentions set on certain things and I'm just very focused on kind of my desires, I would say.
157. 13:17And so I was interested in public policy knowing that I wanted to go to law school, and I was blessed enough that while I was there, since I was close to DC, that I interned, which was the beginning of that with Senator Hollings from South Carolina.
158. 13:32So I had the benefit of that time of, I don't know if you would remember this, Stan, you might Jaime, I have a few years in you, but there was something called the nation at risk that came out for education policy.
159. 13:44And my Senator Hollings wrote the democratic response to that.
160. 13:47And I was involved with that back in 1989.

161. Host

     13:50Well, you said well.

162. Julie

     13:52That's So it was the beginning of my past into education law, which was a very, which was an expertise and a specialty that didn't exist as much in my earlier years.

163. Host

     14:04That's incredible. Where did that come from?
164. 14:07Like did you, I mean, did that passion for education and policy, where did that all come from for you?

165. Julie

     14:13Is that... You're gonna love that this answer my friend, because this is, I know some of your passions and missions: camp!
166. 14:21Oh really? Yeah, because I work with children, of course I was a camper, and then I was a counselor, went to Blue Star for decades, and I was a camper into a counselor, and I knew I loved children and I loved that aspect, and so it kind of was a combination of like law and policy in kids.

167. Host

     14:40I love that. And then so you, it sounds like you probably met your husband when you were in your mid-20s, right?
168. 14:48Because you were together for twenty five years?
169. 14:50Well, at

170. Julie

     14:50the beginning of law school, yeah.

171. Host

     14:51Were you both at the same law school and that's how you met?

172. Julie

     14:54We met at the University of Miami in Coral Gables.
173. 14:58And interestingly enough he had had a girlfriend that as father was a surgeon or something got moved to that area and he had visited her and he went to Bucknell undergrad and he just loved like being outside in the heat and running and he loved the water and so yes he came he was a year ahead of me because I worked for a year in between college and law school and so we met and yeah, we got married.

174. Host

     15:23And the girlfriend disappeared.

175. Julie

     15:25Oh, she was long gone before I came here.

176. Host

     15:28She had her disappear. I

177. Julie

     15:30didn't even have to deal with her. No. So no, that was, we got married in 'ninety six, but started dating in 'ninety three.

178. Host

     15:39Okay, got it. And then you navigated law school and then you moved to Sarasota, Florida at what part or no?

179. Julie

     15:45No, we actually raised our boys. I have two boys, Jacob and William, and they are now 23 and soon to be 26.
180. 15:53My older son, Jacob will be 26 and William is 23.
181. 15:56And they are in New York City now, but they were, we raised them in Pennsylvania.
182. 16:02Oh, husband's family. Yeah, my husband's family.
183. 16:06So Jim's family is from Hershey, Pennsylvania, the chocolate kisses of the world.

184. Host

     16:10Yeah, I've never been there actually, never been.
185. 16:13So then were you living there when he passed?

186. Julie

     16:15No. So we raised the boys in Pennsylvania.

187. Host

     16:20Oh, public education? Public education for them?

188. Julie

     16:23So it's a great question. So two things.
189. 16:26So I was actually driving, like before COVID, before the world of remote working, can you imagine when I had Jacob who's going be 26 years old, I literally was remote working and I had an office at home and I would drive back and forth to DC as needed for whether it's to testify or to meet with congressmen or senators or whatever.
190. 16:48I was doing what most people are doing today that long ago.

191. Host

     16:52So that was It almost unheard of then.

192. Julie

     16:55Yeah, but it was like, it allowed me to be a great mom and to attend a lot of almost I say good 95% of all school related events and I wouldn't have been able to do that otherwise.
193. 17:08So I was really grateful. It was a blessing.

194. Host

     17:10I want to dive in. So you said to testify and that just caught my attention.
195. 17:13Get, we're going to jump a little bit around.
196. 17:15So what types of cases were you testifying in back in that, at that point?
197. 17:19So my expertise,

198. Julie

     17:21which is even another great question, it's like work that I still do pro bono around the country as an advocate, but my expertise is a lot in the area of special education.

199. Host

     17:31So

200. Julie

     17:32I wrote, we kind of as a nonprofit I worked with called the Council of the Great City Schools, and you get into this space where you really act as an expert in an area.
201. 17:43And so with my colleagues, definitely not just myself, but with my colleagues, we really provided expertise that we would get information from our school districts about what was working, what needed to be improved, And then you provide feedback on the written laws, specifically around everything affecting K-twelve.
202. 18:01So of course, I worked on No Child Left Behind.
203. 18:04I've worked on Civil Rights Acts, Title VII, Title VIII, Title IX.
204. 18:10With individuals with the Disabilities Education Act, that's the law for students with disabilities.
205. 18:16In that aspect, we negotiate many provisions on The Hill and with other parties from both sides representing our school districts.

206. Host

     18:25And that I'm sorry. Go ahead. Ahead. Finish it.

207. Julie

     18:27Oh, no. And that would take us sometimes to, you know, to US Supreme Court cases, you know, that would follow.

208. Host

     18:32Having been a student of the public educational system in Boston, I really can't remember.
209. 18:36Was there a time when special ed became integrated into the public sector?

210. Julie

     18:41Absolutely. Because the law was passed in the seventies, early seventies.
211. 18:44Okay. And then there've been several iterations, like since the original laws.
212. 18:49That's what happened.

213. Host

     18:50But prior to the seventies, these kids had a choice someplace or no, they just left their own
214. 18:54families?

215. Julie

     18:54No, it was really, I mean, obviously I wasn't, I was born in '68, so I'm not as familiar to be honest, but you're absolutely right, right?
216. 19:03The access and inclusivity and all of

217. Host

     19:06There wasn't any access. Yeah, nothing.

218. Julie

     19:07It was originally called the Education Handicapped Act was original name of the law.
219. 19:12It's just, it's evolved to be much more inclusive and really to focus what's called the least restrictive environment for students and really to allow for access and inclusivity.

220. Host

     19:25Gotcha. I mean, it's changed lives. You know, I think for a long time people thought even on like the most, I don't want say common or basic, but like if you had dyslexia, you didn't get support for that.
221. 19:34Like you didn't know, you were just like, you're a bad student.
222. 19:36You're, you know, I'm talking like on that side of it, right?
223. 19:38I'm not talking about all disabilities but there's all different types of disabilities out there.
224. 19:41Of course. And those acts have really supported every student who has something in a need.
225. 19:46That's why we have the IEPs now, right? That's where that comes from.
226. 19:49Exactly. Incredible. It's absolutely... It's so needed to make every student feel like they have an opportunity to learn just like anyone else.
227. 19:58So I love that you've done that.

228. Julie

     19:59You know, Jaime, what's so important with what you're just saying is that we all learn differently.
229. 20:04Right? And we also come to this world with different gifts.

230. Host

     20:07Mhmm.

231. Julie

     20:08You know? So, like, each child of ours, everybody is...
232. 20:11We're different. And so, you know, the the cookie cutter of school doesn't always allow for that.

233. Host

     20:16Yeah. And so... And now that being a mom, it's so interesting as think when you become a parent, you see things in a completely different light and you start to realize like, wow, I didn't realize how hard it was.
234. 20:28Or now I think about when I was managing leaders who are parents, oh, my kid's sick and I can't come in.
235. 20:32I'm like, gosh, you've taken five days off.
236. 20:34Now I'm like, oh my gosh, my kid was just out for five days.
237. 20:37But it's all perspective, right? Like you start to see things differently.
238. 20:40And so I start to see the education system differently.
239. 20:42And I see what my parents had to navigate with three kids as well and how to, you know, where we all kind of were in our learning abilities.
240. 20:49And now I'm seeing it. It's fact, I can't even imagine what you have seen and what you've advocated for.
241. 20:55And I just want to say thank you on behalf of the millions of children that I'm sure you have helped.

242. Julie

     20:59So You're so welcome. And it's you know what?
243. 21:01It's my deepest honor because it's there's nothing more than helping a child provide access because then their self esteem comes from that, their sociability with others comes from that.
244. 21:12You know, that opens their whole lives for how they see themselves for what is what's available.
245. 21:18So it's and now, you know, just to share, know, years later because of my expertise, I'll take on like major pro bono cases.

246. Host

     21:27And

247. Julie

     21:30I'm mindful, I don't do it with districts that I've represented on the other side, so I'm doing it with districts and families.
248. 21:35But like in Sarasota, I've had just beautiful situations of being able to help families with young children.
249. 21:40It's just really, it's a blessing where I'll get calls from other places around the country and it's just, it's, it's a gift.
250. 21:47It's really a gift to be able to give back.

251. Host

     21:49I love that. People don't realize how fundamental those, those early years are.
252. 21:53You know, I think from elementary through middle, mean, obviously, every year is important, but just what that does to build up the confidence in kids is just huge.
253. 22:01So I love that. So... Okay. So I'm gonna jump back now.
254. 22:04So you're living in Pennsylvania. You're raising your boys there, and then you make this move to Florida at a certain time or in Hawaii?
255. 22:11That's correct.

256. Julie

     22:12That's exactly correct. So my oldest son Jacob, I guess I'd give a little plug, and they're both boys are both very gifted and bright, but he's valedictorian.
257. 22:21He graduated from public school in May 2017.
258. 22:27And William, my youngest, we had decided we had spent a lot of time in Florida, but my mother grew up in Tampa.
259. 22:34My brother, his wife, and children are in Tampa, and aunts, uncles, cousins, but we love the water.
260. 22:41Like we're really water people, all of us.
261. 22:43And so we had spent some time in Marco and so coming to Sarasota, my parents were in Lakewood Ranch area, was just a great kind of in the middle to have this opportunity to be on the water, to be near family and to really shift into a different space.
262. 22:59And so we made the move here in the summer of twenty seventeen and then unfortunately Jim passed soon.
263. 23:06It was in December 2018. He was not here long and William went to Riverview for the IB program.

264. Host

     23:15So he, what grade was he in when you moved to Florida?
265. 23:17Tenth grade. So that's, I mean, how do you navigate, that's a big When adjustment I was in ninth grade my parents moved to California.
266. 23:25We ended up moving back when I was in tenth grade.
267. 23:27They just wanted to see how resilient I was I think.
268. 23:30It worked out pretty good for you. Yeah yeah.

269. Julie

     23:33I say she's doing really good.

270. Host

     23:34It worked out just fine. Oh geez. But how did that go for William?
271. 23:38That's a big move for a tenth grader and you know what was that like?

272. Julie

     23:42You know he was so mature. He had played very competitive soccer and played tennis and other sports in high school.
273. 23:49He made friends initially. Didn't, he'd run cross country like in middle school and he's like, okay, in Florida they run during this different sports different seasons right?
274. 24:00So he came and he started to meet kids running cross country and being the education person that I am we spent a lot of time investigating the schools public schools in the area and I love the International Baccalaureate program for the audio, for the readers listening, you know the IB is a very holistic program, so you really have the critical analytical skills of writing, you learned about different cultures and religions, and then the math and sciences are just amazing.
275. 24:30So for me, it was very holistic and it was important for him to have a full education.
276. 24:36And so a lot of our lives of choosing to come here was actually built around that.

277. Host

     24:41I love that. So he gets this opportunity, then you're living your best life, you're practicing law still, also advocating for the education system.
278. 24:49What line of work was Jim in?

279. Julie

     24:52Jim had been in the building development business.
280. 24:55So he up north had had a very large residential building development business.
281. 25:00Honestly, we got hit very seriously with some of the financial different periods and had some hard times, which kind of led to us making a shift and kind of coming here.
282. 25:11And to be, you know, was thinking about it before joining you as I was dropping in and you're asking about like that healing space, Stan, and where I am.
283. 25:17And, you know, I'm like, as I'm writing this book, Divine Ashes Ascending, and telling the journey of Jim's death in my life and where we are, like I'm very mindful of how to honor him.
284. 25:31You know, life, we all have different sufferings and different traumas and different chapters, right?
285. 25:37And so often in our society, we don't honor those or talk about them or really, everybody wants to pretend like everything's perfect.
286. 25:46That doesn't exist. Life can be hard. So we came here at a time that was harder for him and if you're familiar, I was thinking about it.
287. 25:55The body keeps the score. How our bodies take on cortisol and where our amygdala, how we respond into fight or flight.
288. 26:06And you know me Jaime, but I'm definitely a fighter.
289. 26:09And so like that would be my external aspect.
290. 26:12And Jim went within and so I think a lot of his stress internalized into this cancer.

291. Host

     26:18Dangerous territory, sure. But it's true, you know, the stress is...
292. 26:24The impact stress has on your body, people don't realize how much of a toll it takes on your body.
293. 26:31I remember, and this is not to discount anything he was feeling, I want to jump back into that, but I remember I had gotten this...
294. 26:37I was doing... For when I was planning for my TEDx talk, I'd gotten a pain in my back all of a sudden, just this pain in my And I was doing Reiki, I was doing, what's the needles things?
295. 26:48Acupuncture. Acupuncture. Dad sent me to a therapist to have pressure, was getting massages, nothing was getting rid of it.
296. 26:54It was almost debilitating that I was thinking, I'm not going to able get on stage and give a talk because I can't sleep.
297. 26:59I can't move. My back is killing. It hurt so bad.
298. 27:03Nothing was helping with it. And the moment I stepped on that stage and all of the relief was done about planning for that speech, it went away.
299. 27:12Wow. But it was just such a reminder of how stress, we can do whatever, we have to really figure out what's eating us and get to that because if not, then it can be, as you said, fatal.

300. Julie

     27:23So I can't help myself in my coaching role, if I may.
301. 27:26Sure, please. With your permission. You know, stuck energy, that was stuck somatic energy that was stuck in your body and you didn't release that energy until you got on the stage.
302. 27:37So it had to come through you.

303. Host

     27:40Yeah. No, you're a 100%. So walk us, navigate us down.
304. 27:44What were some of... And we'll... I won't spend too much time here because I know it's gonna be in your book and I don't wanna give it away, but, you know, my husband happens to be sick right now.
305. 27:51He has like a fever and he has like some other stuff going on.
306. 27:54I'm like go to the doctor, go to the doctor, go to the doctor.
307. 27:56But I always find that it's not only men or women, it's just people.
308. 27:59Sometimes like no, I'll be fine and they don't go to the doctor.
309. 28:02So what were some of the, to help other listeners, since you said it's hard to diagnose, what were some of the symptoms that Jim was experiencing up to his diagnosis that you guys were like, you know what, we need to find a doctor.

310. Julie

     28:13So I'm going to take this a little bit out of the left brain question of were the symptoms.
311. 28:19I'll answer that, but I want to give you a different answer because I feel like it's really important.
312. 28:24It's intuition. So it is really listening to

313. Host

     28:27your

314. Julie

     28:27intuition when you feel that something is not right.

315. Host

     28:31It ain't right.

316. Julie

     28:33Right? And you need to be able to go within to like, okay, I'm feeling something.
317. 28:39I don't know what's going on and I have to honor it to go to the doctor.
318. 28:45Okay, so that's like, and that may be also I do a lot of in the book as well.
319. 28:49I'll talk about a lot of healing modalities and I heard the two of you talk about it as well.
320. 28:54Yoga being one of them. But there's so much that we could do to heal ourselves.

321. Host

     28:59No question.

322. Julie

     29:00Different perspective. Okay, so that's there's so many things to answer in this question, but in Jim's case he had a loss of appetite.
323. 29:08He was sweating and losing weight. That was it, nothing else and his white blood cells had been elevated, so it was an automatic that it would be an infection.
324. 29:18We had been away as a family on a cruise.
325. 29:21They definitely thought it was an infection of some kind and just treating it with antibiotics.
326. 29:27So it wasn't until nobody could really diagnose what was going on.
327. 29:32He'd actually seen hematologist oncologist, did a bone marrow biopsy and that was negative.
328. 29:40I mean, you think you never think, oh, you wish something's positive, but you're looking for answers.
329. 29:44And then we went into, he still was miserable.
330. 29:48And I remember it was my mother's birthday and my sister-in-law was pregnant and Jim was so sweet and he's like, I can't expose myself in case this is a virus or something.
331. 29:57God forbid the baby gets sick, know, so then you know in utero.
332. 30:02So he didn't come and it was like, I came home that night and I said, honey, we have got to go to the hospital.
333. 30:07Like we just have to, you know, and it was then on the November 5 that went to the hospital.
334. 30:12He was in during that time, they realized there were some epithelial cells in his liver that were metastasized, but they couldn't listen to this you guys.
335. 30:23I've never heard of this before. I've never heard of it again, but it was diagnosed as the cancer of an unknown primary.
336. 30:30It's less than three percent in the world where they can't find where the cancer comes from.
337. 30:36Okay, full body scan. Everything is clear cannot figure out where the cancer comes from.
338. 30:43So we had family. We were able to get him into MD Anderson like Thanksgiving was just like the weekend between.
339. 30:50But Jim got sick really quickly like his body started to deteriorate and like he was jaundice and he was weak.
340. 30:58So I would say to your listeners like, listen, when and if you really are not feeling well, even if your doctors can't give you answers, you have to keep pushing forward to try to get information.

341. Host

     31:10Yeah. Now question was your intuition alone or was it his also?

342. Julie

     31:18You know, I at the time Stan, it's a great question.
343. 31:21I don't think that I would allow my intuition in.
344. 31:25Do you know what I'm saying? Like at the time, again, like you know, like Jaime, I had a huge conference I was speaking at.
345. 31:32We have a meeting of like 1,500 people at the end of October, right?
346. 31:35So I was getting ready for that huge meeting and so I was focused on work, you know, and so just he was being treated initially with antibiotics.
347. 31:43So you think, you know what your son, your husband's not feeling well, you know, you'll take the medicine and it'll be fine.
348. 31:48So that's kind of what we initially thought like it'll be fine.
349. 31:51So it wasn't until after I got home and then just stand physically energetically being with him.
350. 32:00I'm like, something is just not right. We have got to honor that we don't know what's going on and that your internist can't tell us and we have to take the next step.
351. 32:09So I think it's like when you really feel it intuitively you just have to move on it.

352. Host

     32:15Yeah and then you said he passed in December?

353. Julie

     32:18Yeah December 6 so really early like honestly we left Tampa General November 10.
354. 32:23He passed December 6 and honestly we left MD Anderson, came home a week before by medevac.
355. 32:32Hospice came in when we came home and he died literally at 03:33 on Thursday, 12/06/2018.

356. Host

     32:42Wow. You know, that is... You're navigating at that time.
357. 32:48First of all, it's so sudden. You don't even get to do anything.
358. 32:51He was too sick to probably even like, you know, have some last joyful moments or whatever, but you're navigating not only your grief, but you also have two boys who, you know, must have been what, like 17 and 21 at the time?

359. Julie

     33:05Oh, 16 and 19.

360. Host

     33:06Okay, sorry, 16 and 19. Yeah. It's like have to be there as a mom for them as well too, you know.

361. Julie

     33:13Absolutely, you know, and sweetie, it's like, think about it this way.
362. 33:16It's like, it's not, you can't even touch the grief because the trauma and the shock are so great that somebody could die and slip out of our fingers that anybody that we love today that could be gone in three weeks.
363. 33:29One of the chapters in the book or the eternal three weeks, but it's just that that's possible, you know, but people then all the time, there's at car accidents, things happen.

364. Host

     33:40It's it's it's gotta be... It's an unreal experience.
365. 33:43The reality just does not sink in. It's just...
366. 33:45It's like, you can't believe it happened.

367. Julie

     33:47No. And it's so listen, you asked like where I'm at today.
368. 33:51It's been with a lot of intentional healing, a lot of tears, you know, a lot of pain and being very mindful about how to choose to work through it.

369. Host

     34:02Well, there's all the different stages of grief, I'm sure, you know, as a coach and as a counselor and as a person who's gone through it, you probably went through all those stages at different times.
370. 34:12And, you know, I can, there's, you can navigate all that.
371. 34:15So what was that turning point that you had that you said, okay.
372. 34:21You know what? Now I'm I'm at a place where I wanna help others.
373. 34:27And I think you've frozen, but I'm not sure if you can still hear us or not.
374. 34:29Dad, is it frozen on your end as well too for her?
375. 34:32No, can't see her. Yeah, so we'll give her a second to come back.
376. 34:35I'm not sure what's going on there, but I can't even begin to imagine going through something like that and only having three weeks and not even knowing that you only have three weeks.
377. 34:48Right? That's gotta be I I think... Unless speaking from personal experience, thank goodness, I think what happened, you you you have to submerge your feeling because you've got two children you have to deal with.
378. 34:58So I think you you almost kinda put your stuff on hold be...
379. 35:02Being in the in the nurturing mode for your kids, but she can explain it better than I can.
380. 35:06Yeah. You know, we lost her for a minute.
381. 35:08I'm sure she'll be coming back any second.
382. 35:10But, you know, every time... So I met Julie years ago, and I had no idea what her story was and I knew a little bit of it.
383. 35:16I didn't realize how quickly that had had formed and that happened.
384. 35:20I knew she had two boys and neither her husband had passed but you...
385. 35:23It just goes to show you that when you meet somebody, you have absolutely no idea what their story is.
386. 35:27Like, she is a fighter. She is a strong, empowered person who, like, every time I saw her, I was always like, that's...
387. 35:36Like, I wanna be like Julie. I wanna be more like Julie.
388. 35:39And she's just such an incredibly, educated and wise woman who knows what she wants, understands how to communicate it, and comes off so strong.
389. 35:51And you would never ever know that in the background of that A personal struggle, Yeah, a personal struggle.
390. 35:58Well, that's what I first wanted to call the podcast that I watched your story.
391. 36:01I wanted to call it walk a mile in my shoes.
392. 36:03I mean, if you do that, man, you you you learn things.
393. 36:06You see you see the the end Giulia now, you don't see what...
394. 36:09By walking in her shoes, how she got to that point.
395. 36:12It's a very, very difficult walk. Yeah, and it's, you wonder like if, and I wanna ask this when she comes back, is that, as you do that, the question like, why me?
396. 36:23Why me? Why did this happen to me? And that's a place where I think a lot of people live in.
397. 36:27When we met and talked with Justin a couple months back and we were talking about his boys and how they had that rare genetic disorder, remember the two boys?
398. 36:35And he said, we could have said, why me?
399. 36:37But instead they said, we're glad it's me.
400. 36:39Like, I'm so glad it's me because I got to navigate that.
401. 36:42And now what she's doing to help others is truly incredible.
402. 36:46So it's just... It's an amazing way that, you know, her coaching group is called Rising Phoenix.
403. 36:53And as we know, what is it like the burn of the...
404. 36:55What is the saying about the ashes? What's the...
405. 36:57Isn't there a saying? Right. Just the feelings will rise from the ashes.
406. 37:01Yeah. So it sounds like as she's, you know, kind of navigating her loss and her grief and doing that possibly through writing a book, obviously we know writing is very therapeutic, But wow, what like an incredible just journey that she must have had.
407. 37:16How do we get her back? She's back. She's back.
408. 37:19So I'm gonna let her in. So I just think it's amazing.
409. 37:22I think that, you know, like you don't ever, again, you don't ever know what somebody is going through and Julie, I was just saying that while we lost you for a minute, I was saying that when I first met you, I didn't know your story.
410. 37:34I didn't know anything about you and as I started to get to know you and just hearing and seeing social media posts, knew but I told my dad, when I first met you, when I was in that meeting with you for the very first time, I was like, God, she is amazing.
411. 37:44Like, she is like strong and she's got her voice and she is so educated and just knows exactly what she's talking about.
412. 37:50And I would have never ever imagined that you had navigated any sort of challenge like this.
413. 37:54And it's just the purpose of our podcast.
414. 37:56It's like, you just never know somebody's story.
415. 37:59So I just love that you do that. So my question now that you're back with us is No, I have to tell you.
416. 38:03Go ahead.

417. Julie

     38:05No, I was just going to tell you the reason.
418. 38:07Mean, like you... This is just so funny.
419. 38:09So I... Like I mentioned to you that Jim passed at 03:33.
420. 38:12Right?

421. Host

     38:12Mhmm. Right.

422. Julie

     38:13And I don't think I would share this on this podcast but I guess he intends for me to do so.
423. 38:19He messes with my electronics all the time.

424. Host

     38:22Oh, hello. That's another podcast, baby.

425. Julie

     38:25Okay. And then so he connects with me through the numbers 333 and he guides my children and I, but like, I don't think I was gonna share it.
426. 38:34And so he like disconnected the technology so that I, it was a complete download intention to share, to be honest, to be transparent with your audience.
427. 38:45I connect with him all the time and he guides me all the time.

428. Host

     38:49Wow. I love that. Just took when I was at this place, Savanna, I took a numerology class and she asked that and she said, how many of you have numbers that follow you around?
429. 38:58And a minute ago it was 33 after the hour.
430. 39:01I'm not sure if you realized that but when you dropped it was 33 after the hour.
431. 39:05Oh, there you go. So Before they get them.
432. 39:08Pills like my whole entire body. Yeah. There are and there are three of us.
433. 39:12Oh, there you go.

434. Julie

     39:14But but look, I I have it on my neck. I wear

435. Host

     39:16it every day. Like connects 333.

436. Julie

     39:19333. But he saw for three years before he passed the number thirty three and three thirty three.
437. 39:26And I have all these pictures of him with the numbers.
438. 39:29And he even had a conversation with my dearest friend when we were in with an MD Anderson, how would he connect with us and that he would connect with us through the numbers.
439. 39:40Yeah.

440. Host

     39:40Wow. So before he even was sick, those are the numbers that he just would randomly see all the time?

441. Julie

     39:45Now my husband understands engineer, builder, lawyer.
442. 39:49Yeah. This is not somebody who would be in, he would tease me in the woo woo space.
443. 39:54And he, I have all these pictures of him pointing to the numbers, taking on his watch.
444. 39:59We all shared them between us. I'm looking at a picture of my son on the wall.
445. 40:04His varsity as a freshman was number randomly was 33.
446. 40:09So you're telling me that he cut off at 33 on the hour.

447. Host

     40:12Yes.

448. Julie

     40:12Like there's, there's... And I honestly was not probably gonna share this today.

449. Host

     40:16Julie, outside of that was he intuitive about things in his lifetime?

450. Julie

     40:21You know, not really. Like it's not really how he approach...
451. 40:25He was a man of tremendous kindness. He would have said kindness was his religion, but no, and he just caught his attention Stan.
452. 40:32And to be honest with you, I met another gentleman like about two and half years after Jim passed and his son shares my youngest son's birthday and he was born at 333.

453. Host

     40:44Wow. So I just quickly, I would not normally do anything on my computer, but because I just learned about numerology, it's I learned about your master numbers.
454. 40:52And so I just Googled real fast, tell me about the master number 33.
455. 40:56And it says, that's the master teacher. The 33 is the most spiritual evolved of all numbers.
456. 41:01The 33 is the most influential to all numbers.
457. 41:03It combines the 11 and the 22 boosting their potential at another level.
458. 41:07When expressed the fullest, the 33 lacks personal...
459. 41:10No, that's not what I'm doing. Oh, it's high level of sincere devotion.
460. 41:15So usually, have you ever Googled it? Have you ever Googled it?
461. 41:17The number of 33? Oh,

462. Julie

     41:19I'm very aware. This is a huge part of my life.
463. 41:22Like when I came to where I was living, it wasn't three thirty three, but it was 03:33 on the clock.
464. 41:28On the microwave it was 03:33, but it wasn't 03:33.
465. 41:31So Jim, it's a constant guidance. And so it is in the book and it's like I share a lot of the connections, but it's very real.

466. Host

     41:43How often does somebody ask you what your necklace means?

467. Julie

     41:48That's a great question. You know, there's sometimes...
468. 41:52Was with girlfriends last night and one friend who studies Kabbalah and teaches and actually makes her jewelry is called the untamed hearts.
469. 42:00And she makes jewelry with numbers. So like we were talking about numbers yesterday about the meaning of different numbers and being very cognizant.
470. 42:08So it could be every day or it could be a week or so could pass.

471. Host

     42:13I always think that people are always wearing clues of stuff, and we don't ask them about it.
472. 42:18Does it offend you when someone asks you about what the three d?
473. 42:21No, not at all. You want to talk

474. Julie

     42:24about I welcome it. I can tell you a great story if you wanna hear.
475. 42:27Yeah.

476. Host

     42:27Of course. We're we're ready. We're ready.

477. Julie

     42:29I was doing Danny Shapiro's workshop and...
478. 42:32At Apollo in Stockbridge in this past fall.
479. 42:35As I'm writing, I'm just going to different experiences, but I was...
480. 42:39I went to this like bee honey workshop, like separately apart, like in my own space.
481. 42:43So they started just like you were starting, like talking about in Arizona and we had a circle and about our intentions and we're just talking about bees, right?
482. 42:52Like you think like what's gonna come of this?
483. 42:55And people start to share these really personal stories.
484. 42:57And by the time we're in it, like there's tears flowing.
485. 43:02And, the gentleman that was leading it, I said, we really should drop in and do a meditation.
486. 43:08And he's like, please lead us. And so then we dropped in.
487. 43:12And then this woman came up to me afterwards and she's like, I see your necklace.
488. 43:17Can you please tell me more? And I said, this...
489. 43:20My husband passed. It's been this long, and he guides me.
490. 43:23And she says, I just lost time a few months ago and I've been seeing there were certain things that were showing up for her and she's like, now I know they're

491. Host

     43:34true. You

492. Julie

     43:37know, so you it serves, provides a lot of thoughts to people who have experiences, but somehow society wants us to deny the connection between who we are within ourselves and the divine beyond.
493. 43:53So it's really, with my whole soul, listen, I share it in the book, but like it was hospice.
494. 44:00The nurse said to us that Jim was taking his last breath at 03:23.
495. 44:06And I out loud said, no, it won't be 03:23, he'll pass at 03:33.

496. Host

     44:12Wow. And he did. Wow.

497. Julie

     44:17So yeah, so I know maybe not where you thought you were going with me today, but it's very much

498. Host

     44:25I think he's messing with you again. Your technology is tapping out a little bit.
499. 44:29He's like, stop talking about me or keep talking about me.
500. 44:31He's here with us somewhere. I'm not sure if you, yeah.
501. 44:36You know, so but it's interesting because so you helped that woman kind of find her clarity but now, you're on a journey.
502. 44:43You have recently taken a different path for yourself and I'm sure you're probably still doing the work you've always done but only within the last year have you really kind of gone on this new journey of being a coach now to others.
503. 44:55Is that correct? Am I correct in that timeframe?

504. Julie

     44:57Well, I was with the counsel full time through the Harvard case, you're familiar with that, with that US Supreme Court case, I filed an amicus brief, it was like the end of July of twenty one.
505. 45:10And then after that I've done projects with them.
506. 45:14And then I did a coaching course through Sedona Soul Adventures in Sedona, and we could talk all about Arizona.
507. 45:19Arizona is mystical and healing and just a really special place.
508. 45:28And anyhow, so going back to kind of thinking about the work, then I started the coaching course and then coaching and putting in so many hours in the past year and a year and a half.
509. 45:39And then last year I basically, I had my LLC.
510. 45:45So that's why you would think it was just a year ago.
511. 45:46So it was a year ago in June that I made it kind of, I formalized it.

512. Host

     45:51Got it. Okay. So now, you know, what an incredible place to come from because you have such an experience.
513. 45:57You're educating in so many different things but now, who, you know, your...
514. 46:01Is it the name of your coaching company is the Rising Phoenix Coaching?
515. 46:04That is your company, right? Correct. Okay.
516. 46:07And then your book title, you've already kinda teased it a little bit but what was the title of the book again?

517. Julie

     46:11It, The book title is Divine Ashes Ascending, The Journey of Dying and Living with Grace.

518. Host

     46:18Got it. So we've got the ashes and the phoenix connected.
519. 46:22Exactly.

520. Julie

     46:22And that's the symbol. That's on the cover of my book.

521. Host

     46:25Okay, got it. So who are the type of people that you work with now that you're able to bring in your experience and your grief, but also help them navigate their lives?
522. 46:36Like what are the type of people that you're working with now to help in coaching?

523. Julie

     46:40So really, a lot of the women that I'm working with now are people that have lost spouses because I really understand the space and even people that are necessarily, could be, you know, have professional backgrounds in therapy, but it's bringing something different and more of an intuitive way.
524. 47:01Just like you were talking about your TEDx, and if I would have been working with you then, I would have really would have wanted to have gone within to see what you were holding on to and releasing maybe some of that fear or anxiety or different things that were coming up for you, right?
525. 47:15So whether I'm working with women in the space of grief, it could be loss, divorce, it could be financial challenges.
526. 47:25I've definitely worked with many men in my coaching certification, which I've enjoyed doing as well.
527. 47:30But I have a special space for women that are going through major life transitioning to work through the healing processes there.

528. Host

     47:39Individual, online, in person, groups to a little more information?

529. Julie

     47:43Sure, both. I've done individual online, I've done individual some stuff in person, and I've done some retreat work, and I'm glad for you to ask that question Stan, so thank you for asking the question.

530. Host

     47:54My pleasure.

531. Julie

     47:55Last year a group of us from my coaching course, I facilitated a group in Sedona, just like eight of us and doing breath work and meditation and doing work on the land and the vortexes, and so that's in smaller groups, and it's really my aspiration and desire, so as the book comes out, to leverage the messaging in the book, which really goes back to Jaime's original question of intention, which is creating soul alignment.
532. 48:26So when I believe, so like the two of you creating this podcast, or how Jaime works with people, and she's just amazing as far as like the work she's done in hospice and Tidewell, and really using her skill set in the most passionate purposeful way to elevate, or to talk about your team rather than employees, and what that message brings out to everyone that you touch Jaime, really?
533. 48:50You know, that's like when we live in alignment, everything comes together.
534. 48:55You know, your TEDx, the opportunities, the speaking engagements, it all follows because you are living.
535. 49:02And look, you're doing this podcast with your dad.
536. 49:06How special. So what a rock star y'all are.
537. 49:10You know, it's like really living within that love and that alignment that you have this moment and time to create the space together.
538. 49:22That's what my goal is to help every individual who reads the book.
539. 49:26It's set up in a way, if I may share, like, you're sharing...
540. 49:29I'm sharing my memoir, like, little bit of my story, and then there's a meditation that I will take the reader through to drop in, kind of like we were talking about, like, where are you at?
541. 49:41And the reason I was in that space is because I took the time to be and mindfully then to do didactic exercises.
542. 49:50And those exercises create a transformational space.
543. 49:53So it's not about me, it's about the reader to go through like as if I was coaching to start to go internally.
544. 49:59Like one thing I'll share with you, I think it's a really powerful tool for your audience, is that doesn't somebody have to be sick.
545. 50:07It could be an elderly parent, it could be a spouse, it could be however you want.
546. 50:12But like my son William was so wise and he goes, mom, I don't know what to do to communicate to dad how I feel because it was just like we said it was so quick right?
547. 50:23And I said sweetheart, why don't you write a letter?
548. 50:26Why don't you express to dad like where you have gratitude for the lessons he's taught what comes to you about the legacy he's leaving within you.
549. 50:35And I had enough sense to kind of guide him with some initial questions that he went and dropped in and wrote this letter that is so heartfelt and so meaningful.
550. 50:45So within the book, I take the reader through questions to ask, like have you asked your parents, what's the legacy that lives within you from what they've taught you?
551. 50:58How do you treat others based on the lessons you're teaching your children?
552. 51:02You know, mine, one of the things I did coming out of my coaching class, and it's a great thing for your audience to consider doing is we have these iPhones now, is I recorded videos when I was out in Sedona with life lessons, not about dying, but about life lessons that I want my children to embody.
553. 51:22Now listen, it's all great in the external world to build what people think means success.
554. 51:26For me, my success for them is living from their hearts, living with passion, with purpose, having meaningful relationships with partners that see them and hear them and support them.
555. 51:39And it's not about the external, it's all about the internal.
556. 51:43And so for me, that's my whole goal within the book.

557. Host

     51:47When does your book come out?

558. Julie

     51:50So I am writing kind of my final few chapters, I'm like they're outlined and this is a, so I'm glad you asked the question.
559. 51:58Like the chapter that I'm in right now is, I was actually writing the chapter about like the right to die and Jim used to talk about we love dogs and how we treat animals in our society kind of versus how we just knowing of Hospice and I'm a huge supporter of Hospice and really just embodying where we are and creating a setting that people want and how they see dying.
560. 52:23There's Alua Arthur's this woman, she's a death doula and I went to a grief retreat with her a woman by the name of Claire Bidwell Smith and BJ Miller who you met.

561. Host

     52:33I did. Went grief retreat with

562. Julie

     52:38the three of them like in the fall of twenty one with a dear friend, my parent, my mother and her best friend, and anyhow got exposed to what a death doula is.
563. 52:51And it's somebody who really works with somebody kind of creating a lot of situations around how we die.
564. 52:56And Alua says this. She says she wants people to clap at her death rather than being in a deep, you know, different places of grief.
565. 53:03I don't want to speak for her, but the idea is that you celebrate the legacy of your life and so my whole conceptual like now the chapter that I'm kind of working on is what is a death doula?
566. 53:15How can we empower ourselves in a death space?
567. 53:18How can we talk about death in a way that people don't come to it with fear, but come to it with really love.

568. Host

     53:30That's incredible. You know, there's a movie on Netflix.
569. 53:34I'm not sure if you've seen it. It's called The Life List.
570. 53:36I'm not sure if you've seen it, but it's basically come to Heaven.
571. 53:39Anne is the mom. And... Oh, what's her name?
572. 53:43I forgot the girl's name who is... Plays her daughter, but her mom dies of cancer, but her mom had recorded all of these videos for her of telling her what to do for her life.
573. 53:52She wrote these, like, lift, and it's, you have to watch it.
574. 53:54It's a tearjerker. It's incredible. Absolutely amazing but as I'm we're just sitting here talking now, I'm thinking, you know, I've got a young daughter and yeah, we talk all the time but I, like we said, life is fragile.
575. 54:05We don't know what's gonna happen. We don't know, you know, what's gonna happen tomorrow.
576. 54:09We don't know where we are, and so I'm gonna take that away, and I'm gonna record some videos.
577. 54:13And, you know, I think that for me, even if I...
578. 54:16I'm gonna put this on video now so it's out there.
579. 54:19That if anything were to ever happen to me to where she had to grow up without her mom, I would hope that people would show up for that service and just tell her that they're there for her.
580. 54:29Like, that would be my thing. Right? Like, like, listen.
581. 54:31Your mom... Like, I would want every single person's ever listening to this podcast to show up for her, like, just be, and for my husband as well too, but like, he's gonna be a grown man.
582. 54:39But, you know, but like for, for me, it's, you know, like, you think about, god, it's just scary to think about that.
583. 54:44But yeah, I'm putting it out there in the universe that if anything were to happen, all of you show up for my daughter, not for anything And have a glass of champagne and celebrate.

584. Julie

     54:51And what us her first name, share with her name with everybody.

585. Host

     54:56I don't do that normally on here.

586. Julie

     54:58Oh don't do that, okay. I'll play it privately.
587. 55:00So then just put out the energy to the universe that you're celebrating your daughter and how much that means to you and what that would mean to support her in that situation.
588. 55:10But this is the messages, right? They're different for everybody, Jaime.
589. 55:14It's just like, what is it that resonates within you?
590. 55:17Which that came up for you right away, right?

591. Host

     55:19Yes, instantly.

592. Julie

     55:20You felt that right away.

593. Host

     55:21Instantly. You know, at this resort, I keep going back to Savannah.
594. 55:24They're going get a big plug on this. I should ask you to call them and tell them but there's a labyrinth and I remember, I've walked two labyrinths in my life.
595. 55:32One was in Sedona years ago, probably about fifteen years ago when I went through a terrible breakup and I remember walking through the labyrinth and for those that don't know what a labyrinth is, it's a it's a maze like place to where you walk in a circle, there's an end spot, it gets you there, and then you walk back out.
596. 55:49But as you're walking through the labyrinth, you're setting an intention, you're giving clarity, you're getting rid of what you don't need, grabbing on what you do need, and the universe listens because as I walk through that this time, you know, the first time I did it in Sedona, I like bawled my eyes out the whole time but it felt good and then last year when I went to Siobhan, I did it but this year, as I was doing it, like literally the first day I did it and I did that last day, the first day I put some stuff out to the universe and it happened the next day.
597. 56:13I got a phone call about something I was just thinking about.
598. 56:15Yes. So, the universe works fast but like you said, it's what we put out there, right?
599. 56:19It's the words we, I always say, the words we use directly impact the results that we get And you sort of kept saying, you said it multiple times, lead with love, lead with love, lead with love, whatever that is.
600. 56:31And it absolutely just resonates off of you when I'm in person with you or even to the screen.
601. 56:36And I just think it's incredible what you're doing.
602. 56:38So thank you for being I who you hate that part of your journey got you here because of loss and your own grief, but I also am so inspired by the fact that you have taken that and lifted yourself up out of the ashes and risen to be this new version of yourself.
603. 56:54I think it's amazing.

604. Julie

     56:55You know, I thank you for that, but you know, it's just...
605. 56:58I believe with my entire soul and being at this stage of the game.
606. 57:01I've been studying Kabbalah a lot lately.
607. 57:03And the idea is that, like, we are all on these journeys that have been intended for ourselves, and everybody is like an actor, actress in the film.
608. 57:11And it's all for our own lessons. And so I embody the fact that this has been my journey, and now it's my time to fully give back to others and to help others rise from the ashes for themselves, for whatever that means for themselves and to just share.
609. 57:31Share my truth, share my life so that others can experience.
610. 57:35And you know what guys, here's to you for asking the question, what's your story?
611. 57:40Because I believe it's so wholeheartedly, Jaime, like he was talking about being that boardroom and doing the volunteer work together and not knowing.
612. 57:48It's like, I say we often don't know, it could be chapter three, but what happened in chapter two and chapter one?
613. 57:55What happened in each of your lives? There's so much that happens in our lives that unless we have those real conversations, we don't know.
614. 58:07Can't make assumptions.

615. Host

     58:08Yeah, no, you're right. And we do so often.
616. 58:11You just reminded me of a thing I've seen online the other day.
617. 58:14It's something like, if you were the main character of a movie you were watching, what would you be yelling at the main character to do?
618. 58:21Or something like that. If you were watching yourself, what would you be yelling at them to do?
619. 58:24Now go and do that. And I thought I'm probably totally butchering the comment.
620. 58:28You're probably like, right? Like yell, don't go upstairs, don't go upstairs, in a horror film or whatever.
621. 58:33If you're like, no, just kill them or you know, no, just do it, know.
622. 58:36But like that's the kind of thing is that you have to look at your life and life is short and we get so caught up in what are we doing.
623. 58:42That's why we don't ask you, what do you do?
624. 58:43Who are you? That's the bigger thing. Absolutely.
625. 58:48That's everything. Yeah. And that's why we do this podcast is, you know, to connect with people and learn their stories and share them and let other people know that they're not alone.
626. 58:57And hopefully they can connect to somebody.
627. 58:59And I'm sure that there will be somebody, if not multiple and hundreds of people who connect with your message.
628. 59:05So thank you for being our guest. We appreciate you.

629. Julie

     59:08It's my pleasure. I am so grateful that you reached out and that both of you asked for me to join you.

630. Host

     59:13And now we know who you are. We do. I think there's still more.
631. 59:18There's still more to it. Okay. So I want to make sure that our listeners know.
632. 59:20So I don't... Do we, And maybe I misread.
633. 59:22Is there a date of the book coming out or we're still working in there?
634. 59:24Not sure.

635. Julie

     59:25So I... So the date... My goal really honestly, I'd like to honor my husband's passing and and to do...
636. 59:31Have it released on 12/06/2025. So that's my goal.
637. 59:36I have been interviewing editors and I will eventually give them sample components to edit and then work on the publishing side.
638. 59:45It's a process. Our society is hard because so many people are looking in the traditional publishing, it's like, who's following you?
639. 59:53But for me, it's like, I'm really working for my intuition and allowing myself to be in a space again, like not just to be impulsive of making decisions, but to be mindful.
640. 1:00:03So that's my goal.

641. Host

     1:00:04Have some resources I'll send you because I'm in the middle of my book of as well too.
642. 1:00:09So, I've got some good things I will send you.
643. 1:00:11I'm going send them your way. Oh, I love that.
644. 1:00:12To help you out. But yeah, I think that you're amazing and we will keep our listeners posted when this comes out, you know, where you are in your journey there.
645. 1:00:20We'll also share with them where they find you and your website for your coaching website which is, I just had it up here.
646. 1:00:26It is risingphoenix.life. Is that correct?

647. Julie

     1:00:29Right and then actually needs the HTTPS on that.
648. 1:00:31So, just add that in and you'll be able to come right to me and I signed up for the book or to coach or anything that anybody may be interested in.

649. Host

     1:00:39Is that image on the front

650. Julie

     1:00:40page you somewhere in the? So it's not, but it's, the Red Rocks in Sedona, I've had a lot of experiences there with my children, with another gentleman who's really helped me a lot out of my, just with my own work and as a partner, and a lot of healing, self healing, and then leading retreats.
651. 1:01:03So it's really symbolic of that energy. So yeah, it's not me, but it's representative and the rainbow kind of like light is intended to be like healing energy really kind of lead the individual into the journey.

652. Host

     1:01:18I almost feel like that's like an orbs or really it's like way in.

653. Julie

     1:01:21Yeah. I think it feels that way to me. It was very intentional.

654. Host

     1:01:25I love that.

655. Julie

     1:01:25Again, intent. I know.

656. Host

     1:01:27I mean, comes back to intention. In fact, actually...
657. 1:01:30I'm gonna get you one of my cups. I have one around here somewhere.
658. 1:01:34I have cups and all and they say, what's your intention?
659. 1:01:37And they're dry erase cups. Every day you can write on there like, what's your intention?
660. 1:01:40So I'm going get you one as a little just gift to to give to you about.

661. Julie

     1:01:43I would love that. I would love Well, you all.

662. Host

     1:01:47Thank you.

663. Julie

     1:01:47Thank you. You know, so grateful. And, you know, Jaime, I admire, you you talk about saying that Stan is important for me to say with you here is like your inspiration and your presence and what you give back to the community.
664. 1:02:03And I know you do it all from your heart and I was so proud of you.
665. 1:02:07I wanted to go that day with BJ and I'm so into Blue Butterfly, which has been an important part of my family's life.
666. 1:02:13My mom is doing a lot of work with the children and working in the group therapy sessions and helping young kids who've lost parents and doing great work, honey.
667. 1:02:23Just, you know, it's an honor to know you truly.

668. Host

     1:02:26I appreciate that. Thank you. Well, I will cannot wait to see you soon.
669. 1:02:30You're getting a big hug next time I see you in person, so be ready for it.
670. 1:02:32Okay. And Stan, I

671. Julie

     1:02:33look forward to meeting you in person too.

672. Host

     1:02:35Another great session. Me too. Oh, but by the way, I will tease it right here real fast.
673. 1:02:40Yes. Yes. Because you are one of our first 52 episodes.
674. 1:02:45You will also be in another book. If you sign the release and say that we can share your story as one of our chapters in our book.
675. 1:02:52So, we are doing a book, a What's Your Story, our first season.
676. 1:02:55So, we'll we'll share that with you if you're open for it.
677. 1:02:57That'll be basically a summary of your episodes.
678. 1:02:59You'll have like two best selling books soon.
679. 1:03:02I'm open. Amen, amen, amen.

680. Julie

     1:03:05There you go.

681. Host

     1:03:05Tell the universe. I love it. You too, Julie.
682. 1:03:10Appreciate it. Right. Bye. Thanks again, Both of you.
683. 1:03:13Bye. Bye. Oh my goodness. So wow. Very intentional, inspirational, intuitive stuff.
684. 1:03:26Yeah. Are you gonna start making some videos for your family?
685. 1:03:29Well, it's crazy. You know, it's unfortunate one has to go through some of this kind of trauma to get to a particular point, but I mean, she's dealing with it in a fashion that's very unique.
686. 1:03:36She's just a very strong woman. I know. You know, one of the things that I love most about what we're doing with this podcast, and I tell it to so many people, is that this is moments that you and I will have forever on camera.
687. 1:03:48Forever. It won't ever go anywhere. So your grandchild will see it.
688. 1:03:52Her children will see it. So like, this will, I mean, unless like video goes away, but video killed the radio star.
689. 1:03:58But no, I'm just kidding. But thinking about, like, these videos will live on as our legacy forever.
690. 1:04:05I'm going to advertise now for makeup artists to work with me the next time I appear on camera.
691. 1:04:11Whatever. What's up? I wonder I wonder what percentage actually see us as well as hear us.
692. 1:04:17No way to tell, could tell you. Think the majority of our audiences are listening to us based on our viewership, so I could tell you that.
693. 1:04:25But we don't tell our listeners that. But here's the thing.
694. 1:04:27So listeners, we are going to be, you know, talking about our different such or different stories that are out there.
695. 1:04:34But if you have someone that you think would be a great guest and you want them to share their stories, or maybe that's you, and you're like, hey, I'm ready to have a conversation with Jaime and Stan.
696. 1:04:41Email us. We love to hear from you. We love to talk with different people.
697. 1:04:45We have guests from around the world of all different backgrounds, and that's what makes this podcast so beautiful and so incredible.
698. 1:04:52So we're so grateful for your viewership.
699. 1:04:54We have surpassed over a thousand downloads, which is amazing for our
700. 1:04:57I thought it was a 100,000. No. It will be by this time next year.
701. 1:05:02Well, zeros don't mean anything anyways.
702. 1:05:05Don't give me that zero. Here's a question for you.
703. 1:05:07I was I was... I felt bad I couldn't help you during the time of your TEDx...
704. 1:05:11The leading up to the TEDx talk. You... You put...
705. 1:05:14It's a journey for yourself. Now looking back from a subjective retrospective perspective, could you...
706. 1:05:21You would... You probably would handle it different today, but, what what happened to you?
707. 1:05:26Was it just pure stress, anxiety? What do you remember?
708. 1:05:29What can you delve on that? I think... And I've talked to a few other speakers.
709. 1:05:33So the way when I do a keynote, I'm never scripted.
710. 1:05:38I have my outline. I know what I wanna say.
711. 1:05:40I know the stories I wanna tell, but it's never scripted.
712. 1:05:43And so the biggest difference of the TEDx talk is that you have to write a speech that's never been done before.
713. 1:05:49It has to be scripted. You have to turn in your script, have it be approved.

714. Julie

     1:05:53So I think

715. Host

     1:05:53the It pressure of that was prior to who you were, sure.
716. 1:05:56Yeah, it was foreign and I had to practice.
717. 1:05:58At the same time though, I'm working still and I'm doing keynotes and I'm doing, So the messages all...
718. 1:06:04You know, listen, you're... You can't multitask.
719. 1:06:06So all the messes up in your brain, the older you get, the harder it is to memorize things or to remember things.
720. 1:06:10Let's Are be you talking... You talking to me?
721. 1:06:13Yeah. Who are you? But I think that what could be, if I had to give myself advice or to somebody else, and actually what I've not been very good at doing as of late, but I am now that I've been back from this most recent trip, is the meditation, is giving yourself the time in the morning to just pause.
722. 1:06:33And as you know, I do yoga very early in the morning and it's sixty minutes and it is like all healing.
723. 1:06:40I mean, yoga saved my life. You got me into yoga.
724. 1:06:43You got me into yoga. And years ago, I was in a really bad place and going to yoga was what helped me because it's the only place that my brain is completely turned off is in yoga.
725. 1:06:54I mean, I remember going and laying on the mat and living in Chicago.
726. 1:06:57They're all going through their vinyasa and I'm laying on a mat just crying because just being in that room, that collective energy helped me.
727. 1:07:03So, you helped me get into yoga. So, you helped me then and you helped me, you know, understand yoga.
728. 1:07:07You helped me all the time, dad. You And helped me during my TEDx.
729. 1:07:09You were like a huge part of my prep. So you did help me.
730. 1:07:12But I think what I'm going to be adding in is that second bookend on the end is that gratitude reflection of, you know, you talk about the benefits of low goal setting.
731. 1:07:23And I think what happens is that when we think about what are you grateful for, holy crap, I could list you a thousand different things.
732. 1:07:28But no, it's two words that when we add them in, make the biggest difference.
733. 1:07:33What are you grateful for right now? This very second, like today.
734. 1:07:38Like, or what will you, what will be your intention today?
735. 1:07:41Not what's your intention for your life for this week, you know, for that whatever, but what's your intention right now?
736. 1:07:46And they can change that day and at the end, your gratitude.
737. 1:07:49So I think by starting to add in more meditative practice into my life and calming stuff, I wasn't doing yoga back when I did that talk.
738. 1:07:56It wasn't working out at all. Now I've got that.
739. 1:07:58It changes my Oh, it it goes back to the meaning of yoga itself is unions...
740. 1:08:02Unification of mind and body together. So your mind is kinda turned off, but it's really turned on.
741. 1:08:07And I go back to my basic premise. You you...
742. 1:08:10You're the strongest when when you're in a totally relaxed state.
743. 1:08:13The the David Shainer video I want you...
744. 1:08:15The YouTube I wanted you to see about being stuck.
745. 1:08:17Most people are stuck with the mind that is different from the body.
746. 1:08:21They have really no connection itself. They're running around almost at a random fashion.
747. 1:08:25The money... The mind has to be calmed down, but the...
748. 1:08:28When people go through yoga, it's the subject of feeling that you've done a session.
749. 1:08:32You can't describe that to someone who hasn't done it.
750. 1:08:34The answers, the solutions are there, the answers are there, the course is there.
751. 1:08:39People have to just maintain their curiosity.
752. 1:08:41Well, I think some people are also scared of it, right, too.
753. 1:08:43Like you are afraid to... It is a whole other thing, but I think some people can't handle the calm.
754. 1:08:49They need the chaos. For me, that hour of, in a room,
755. 1:08:56do they call yoga room something or is it just
756. 1:08:58a studio? Studio. Whatever. That room, I'm not thinking about, like my brain is off, which is just amazing.
757. 1:09:06Well, that fear they have of losing the chaos is such a false fear.
758. 1:09:11Oh, yeah. The calmness gives them an incredible presence of mind, but it's something you have to experience for yourself.
759. 1:09:18Nothing, nothing woo about it. And I think if you don't do something, you fall into, you know, like, what do they say?
760. 1:09:24The difference between a rot and a grave is six feet.
761. 1:09:28As you grow, you have to evolve it. If you stay in the same spot, it's just like stagnant water.
762. 1:09:33It's not healthy for you. I agree. Well, you've been a big part of my journey.
763. 1:09:37You've always inspired me to stay with my yoga, stay with my meditation, you know, from buying me Sid Arthur back in the day
764. 1:09:43to But you never read it. I know, but I will.
765. 1:09:46To everyday key in life. I did read some of that, you know, but all of that.
766. 1:09:50Like, those are all great things. So your legacy is definitely living on.
767. 1:09:53Well, I'm a... As I said, I'm a work in progress.
768. 1:09:55Well, you're a starry knight. I'm a I'm a primal scream.
769. 1:10:01Alright, dad. What? Woah. Okay. Well, till next time, kids.
770. 1:10:05We walk the mile. Man, that's a tough mile in her shoes today.
771. 1:10:07I'll tell you that. I know. Whoo. Anyway, alright.
772. 1:10:11Love you, dad. Love you too, babe. Bye bye.

773. Julie

     1:10:13Uh-huh. Bye.

774. Host

     1:10:15Hey. Thank you for tuning in to today's what's your story podcast.
775. 1:10:19To learn more or share your story, go to jamiemarco.com.
776. 1:10:25That's www.jaimemarco.com, and we will see you next time.

Machine transcribed, so names, some words and who is speaking may be off. Tap a line to listen from there. Julie on What's Your Story with Jaime & Stan, with Jaime Marco & Stan Brown. Also on YouTube.