Being With Another.

Last week we sat together in the

first room, the one where you meet yourself.

The one you walk into when the phone is turned off, the computer closes, the podcast goes quiet, and it is just you and whatever wants to come and sit beside you. This is where your heart opens and you learn the gift of listening and being with yourself. This takes intention and Living Fully Awake.

This Sunday we enter the second room. The one you walk into when another is in front of you. Being with another is the same practice. But this space asks something entirely different of us.

Presence with another person is not about what you say. Most of us have been trained to prepare our response while the other person is still speaking. To gather the right advice. To find the fix. To land the perfect thing.

That is not presence. It is performance. I am deeply guilty of living in this space for a large portion of my earlier years. I have had a great need to fix, not to listen but rather an internal need, or even pull, to solve others’ problems. I must admit that as a practicing lawyer, functioning from my left brain, I believed I was quite effective. I now believe I was mistaken, at least in my personal life.

After Jim died, I wanted to fix whatever came up with our sons. Now I know my role is to guide, to listen, to ask questions, to show up with love.