Live and Die Awake
Chapter 10

Allowing the Grief to Guide You

Julie’s Reflection Pause for this chapter is set out below in full, in her words. 15 questions to sit with, and a journal is all they ask for.

From the book

Reflection Pause: When Grief Becomes the Teacher

Julie prints this at the end of the chapter. It is here in her words, unedited.

Healing rarely happens all at once. It unfolds through moments of willingness to feel, to explore, to receive support, and to remain open to change. When we meet our pain with curiosity, we begin to discover that transformation has been quietly waiting within us all along.

There is no single way to heal. We are whole beings, in body, mind, heart, and spirit, and different approaches support different parts of us.

Recognizing the Pain

  1. What pain or losses are you carrying right now that most need your attention?
  2. When you acknowledge this pain, what emotions or sensations arise in your body?
  3. Do you tend to avoid your pain, push through it, analyze it, or move toward it?

Curiosity Around my Pain

  1. What might become possible if you approached your pain with curiosity instead of fear?
  2. In what ways is your body communicating with you about what you are experiencing?
  3. What kinds of support have helped you, even in small ways, during difficult times?

Possibilities of Healing

  1. As you consider healing, what draws your curiosity or interest?
  • Movement or body-based practices (yoga, breathwork, walking)
  • Emotional support (coaching, counseling, support groups)
  • Hands-on or nervous system therapies (massage, craniosacral, somatic work)
  • Spiritual or energy practices (meditation, prayer, Reiki, Hands of Light)
  • Creative expression or time in nature (art therapy, music, drum circle, ecstatic dance, hiking, walking near a beach, creek, river, lake or ocean)
  1. What fears or beliefs might be preventing you from exploring new support?
  2. What would it feel like to give yourself permission to experiment with healing, without needing certainty?
  3. What is one gentle step you feel willing to take toward caring for yourself?

Closing Integration

Living and dying awake is not about transcending pain. It is about meeting life fully, including grief, change, and uncertainty with presence and openness of your heart. When we allow light to touch the places that hurt, we begin to discover that healing and transformation are not separate from our pain. They often emerge through it and guide us toward our self-growth and healing, reminding us that living awake is living through loss to face grief, loss, death with presence, grace, and love.

Hear Julie read

Live and Die Awake: Rising from the Ashes

8:51The meditation that opens the book

Listen to it

This chapter’s recording

Julie reads this one aloud on November 4, 2026, the day the book comes out. It appears on this page, at the address the code in your copy already points to, so there is nothing to keep or bookmark.

She will see it was this chapter you asked from. Every email has an unsubscribe link.

Chapter 10: Allowing the Grief to Guide You · Live and Die Awake